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Radically Accepting the Radical

I have recently finished reading a book called "Radical Acceptance" that has changed my viewed on many things. Radical acceptance focuses on accepting things for what they are without judgement. Most people have been through something that has been traumatic or very emotionally tolling for them and are still dealing with leftover emotions and feelings about it years later. We are very quick to judge ourselves by thinking that we should be over a certain situation in a certain amount of time and become frustrated with ourselves when these feelings still come up. Ask yourself, "Why do I think I need to be over this by now if it is still bothering me?". This question in and of itself can begin a lot of deep down digging regarding why we are judging and holding ourselves to such a high standard. When events seriously affect us, we often bury it down deep inside of us and cover it up for many reasons that we trick ourselves into thinking is the best solution. This can entail telling ourselves that we do not have time to deal with these feelings, the feelings are too painful, or not wanting to feel vulnerable. But, these times of susceptibility and pure exposure are the times that truly heal what we are actively trying to cover. The book teaches that only through eyes of radical acceptance can we figure out what we actually need to truly heal from things that have hurt us and are still affecting us. We must look at ourselves through eyes of lightness and compassion to be able to be there with our past selves that have gone through the hurtful situation. Asking this past version of you "what do you need from me right now to know or do to help you?" can often open doors of new perspective on how to nurture this part self that needs love to fully accept what happened and begin to heal.


Of course, life has its ups and downs. Some things are extremely light and free and easy. Other things are painful, heavy, and discouraging. Yet, this is where the yin and the yang come in; for we cannot have one without the other. We would not know good days if there were not bad ones. Just like we would not enjoy sunny warm days if there were not some cold dreary days thrown in the mix. Radical acceptance instills a perspective that sees pain as something that is not good or bad; something that just is. Without even realizing it, we fixate pain with a description of something that is bad and needs to go away. Instead, what if we saw pain as something that is there, but didn't let it take over all of our thoughts(of course chronic pain is a different story). For example, we have a headache and immediately our mood can change because of it. Perhaps we could sit and notice the pain and notice how we may want to react in frustration and just choose to sit with it and accept it. Choosing a mantra such as, "I am in pain right now and that is okay. I am okay and I know that this will pass". Outside of physical pain, what if we addressed mental and psychological pain the same way? How might that change the way you look at things when they do not go your way or something makes you upset? Pain and suffering are two things that are guaranteed within the human experience, so why not try and shift to a new mindset that allows these things to happen. Letting yourself experience emotions and feelings solely for what they are opens up a whole new way of life that is entirely more free. Heal, recover, and shine light where need be. Your heart, head, body, and soul are really the only things you ever truly own in this life so love these with eyes of compassion, acceptance and love for the sake of you.


Love always,

Kare

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