If someone would ask you what you identify yourself as, how would you answer? Would you tell them that you are a parent, an employee, a student, an artist, an athlete? Of course, we are all so different so everyone's answers would vary. My second question to you is have you ever gotten caught up in the title that you give yourself? For example, maybe everyone knows you as someone who is a runner. This title comes to people's minds when they think about you and describe you to others. But, what if you decided you wanted to try something else besides running?
This can create some identification crisis and a feeling of being lost in yourself when you directly choose to remove a title that you once associated with yourself. These feelings can also involve morning over the old version of yourself and noticing you are an ever changing and growing person.
A strong fear can correlate with what others think of us when we want to make a change in our lives. Naturally, we want to say we do not care about what others think of us, but this can be inevitable as times, especially when wanting to be able to confide in others.
So, where do you go from here? It all begins with removing the identities that you place on yourself. When you are able to step away and look at yourself through eyes of compassion and nonattachment, only then can you realize that you are the only person that can place and remove labels on yourself. Of course, people may question you and try to guilt you by saying things like, "Oh but you liked that though! I don't think you should quit.", "you were so good at that!", "Are you sure you aren't making a mistake by making this change?". The list could go on, but having your own best interest at heart can develop self confidence and resilience against any comment someone can throw. I have found that people who are supposed to be in your life will support you throughout all of your growth and changes. These people will not hold things over your head or guilt trip you when you decide that you want to stop doing something, try something new, or simply begin to start enforcing boundaries with others.
Another perspective on this relates back to the fact that we are multidimensional creatures. As humans, we are not supposed to be one thing. This can be where we put ourselves in a box and pack ourselves up. Telling ourselves "I can be this, but I cannot be this". My response to that is "Why not?!". Society, expectations, and stereotypes can be unconsciously pulled into our mindset and the way we view ourselves. You are allowed to be strong but gentle, fast but detail oriented, a hustler but empathetic. Letting yourself accept who you are and things that interest you with an open and willing heart will begin to weed bad people out of your life for your own good. Some people cannot stand to see you succeed because they are uncomfortable in their own skin, and that's okay because they were blocking your shine anyways.
Journal prompts of self discovery questions have always aided me in realizing what I want and need out of certain situations, along with letting go of things that no longer serve me.
I will list some below:
1) What things are you holding onto right now that are getting too heavy?
2) Who/what is holding you back?
3) If you could wake up and be your most ideal version of yourself with no one's judgement, who would you be?
4) What have you been meaning to try that you have been putting off? And what is preventing you from doing this?
5) What current judgements do you have towards yourself?
6) Do you feel like you are in tune with yourself right now? Why or why not?
7) What are you afraid of?
All of these questions require a lot of self reflecting and light shown upon some parts of yourself that are not always so easy to look at. Be kind, be gentle, and love yourself as you change and grow, for we are not supposed to stay stagnant.
Love always,
Kare
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